I confess; I shop based on font size

There are times when I feel like this is my new reality

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I wear glasses/contacts – not at the same time, geesh – it’s not that bad….. yet.

 

But I am asking you to join my coalition to pressure packaging companies to increase FONT SIZE.  It feels unfair that I should be forced to put in my contacts prior to morning  coffee

 

So when I get in the shower, I have to ask, how the hell can anyone read these labels?
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I have “washed” my hair with conditioner more times than I will admit – who can read this??? The shower is a hazard to my family & fellow workers.  I have pseudo shaved my legs with a razor still sporting the plastic cap – cuz who is gonna run their fingers across the blades, to be sure?  Maybe I should just ask Louise’s waxer to make house calls.
I have allergies, the kind where pieces of cement get into my eyes and unless I can remove my eyeballs to scratch them – I am forced to use these eye drops.  Wanna read these directions for me…..without my contacts….?
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BTW – these are the most stingy eye drops ever made – EVER.
Getting dressed post-eye drops, pre-contacts is my fear landscape.  I have my morning routine down to seconds…..so the days I need to wait 15 min. after the eye stabbing, can be treacherous territory, to be sure
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Hair – check
Make-up – check & I’m out the door, right on time.
When I got home, I decided to take off my day face & bought “old school” Ponds cold cream – scooped out a blob – coated my face “Hmmmmm, do I tissue this off or use water & wash cloth?”
Wait for it……
Ponds
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Maybe it’s just me, but if your a distracted housecleaning kinda gal
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It’s likely possible these could look the same
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Yep – I dusted with Goo-Gone, took the varnish right off my coffee table.  Now it’s worth twice as much and currently featured on “Fixer Upper” as a farm style table.
So I gave up dusting – Fail.
 I decided I would sew, crafting tartan wear for my upcoming trip to Scotland. But….
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Would someone please drop by my house and thread this needle?
 Wait, lemma just put my contacts in – uhhhh is there a lens in that case?
 The eye doctor told me the stronger the lens RX, the less manufacturers use tint?  I felt like he was punking me – so the more blind, the less visible the lens….FACT.
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This is my answer to that logic:
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 I just don’t feel ready for a white cane. I blame the labeling industry for making me resort to having a Sharpie permanent marker on my person at all times – to graffiti products in a readable

 font size

I’ve put on black tights with a blue dress, for a business meeting, not the worst fashion mistake I have ever made.  I did have to claim I was a hipster, when everyone knows I am a Hippie  *grabs hula-hoop & hackeysack*

So who will stand with me, waving glasses prescriptions & unreadable shampoo bottles? We can start a revolution, as soon as these eye drops wear off I’ll make some posters.

 

 

 

 

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